1. You need a car
2. People who tell you you don't need a car are either messing with you or they have addled minds from walking in 117 degree weather to the bus stop. A bike is always nice for the good months, but there are crazy hot months. Just as you don't want to walk all over in minus-18 degree weather, you don't want to do it when it's hot.
3. A yellow light means go faster. A turn light that has just barely turned red means go faster.
4. Rush hour is a pain. Avoid freeways between 5-6pm. Avoid going against the grain between 5-6pm. If you have to turn at an odd spot without a light, or if you have to turn left out of a driveway, just turn right, or just loop around the neighborhood. Trying to get 20 cars to coordinate and hold their position while you squeeze through and pray no one hits you is just not worth it. I'm hoping this is common sense for all of you.
5. Don't drive anywhere at night when it's raining. I don't care if you grew up in Seattle, this rule is because of everyone else on the road, not you.
- First, everyone from Arizona starts granny driving the second a small mist or drizzle appears.
- Second, because it rains like 3 days a year here, the water has nowhere to go except the streets. So you're literally driving in lakes that a day ago were filled with dried-out sage and sand. Go slowly. Unless you have a jeep or raised truck, this is not the time to sling your car through every puddle you can find. They aren't puddles. And they will drown your car.
- Third, because it rains like 3 days a year here, the streets are not prepared for rainy settings. Remember those nice reflective round things in Seattle streets? Yeah, we don't have those in Arizona. So you can't see the darn lines. At all. Even when you squint. Neither can anyone else, especially at night. You are literally putting your life in the hands of a fleet of cars driven by people who turn into 98-year-old blind women as soon as it rains. Like a pumpkin.
6. YOU NEED COVERED PARKING. Once you make the mistake of parking in the uncovered spot because "it's closer and I'll only be gone for 5 minutes," you will realize that 5 minutes equals an oven. And I mean that in a literal sense (everything in Arizona is literal). How long does it take for your oven to preheat? 5 minutes or so? Same thing with a car. When you have a nice, strong heat source bearing down on a poor defenseless car, guess what? It's gonna warm up, just like preheating your oven. And when you put a frozen pizza in the oven, it's going to cook. Just like you're going to when you climb into your uncovered car. GET COVERED PARKING. There's a reason why people will drive around for half an hour here in a parking garage looking for a spot, even though the entire uncovered roof of the garage is empty. Also, only consider apartment complexes that offer covered parking. Doesn't matter if it costs extra. Pay it. This will help your car last longer, so really, it's an investment. Or whatever helps you justify it.
7. Get central A/C in your apartment. A window unit is nice, but it should only be a supplement to central A/C. Unless you live in a cave or underground, you will absolutely not be cool enough without central A/C.
8. The warm winters really are worth the summer heat. Everyone has A/C, and just be prepared to sweat a little when you walk from your car, but really, it's a way better trade-off than being so cold you don't think you'll ever be warm again.
9. Take frequent trips to the ocean. California's beaches are only about 5-6 hours away, and the humidity and moderate temperature will be a welcome respite from Arizona. I always find myself glad to get back to the AZ too because it's warmer in AZ than on the coast, and you get used to the warmth.
10. Welcome to Arizona. It's lovely here. Learn to appreciate the beauty of the desert, keep your eyes peeled for hummingbirds and lizards, and you'll like it here. I do.
