I'm not always this melancholy, I promise

So I write poetry and song lyrics sometimes, but it's usually when I'm feeling my worst. Luckily, those times are few and far between these days, but because that's the only time I write, it seems, if you read my stuff, like that's how I feel all the time! Totally not true. So I'd like to share a song I wrote the other day, just bear in mind that I'm NOT feeling like this now! At least I can constructively use my sad moods, right?

Why can't I trust the world?

And trust myself to them

I'm fighting a lie

Living without a life

chorus:

And I remember

the years I lost

believing an illusion

following the reason

I have these scars

Why can't I fall in love?

And give myself to him

I'm dying alive

But I can't bring myself to survive

(chorus)

I feel the pain of all I'm losing

But I lost control to heal it.

I'm scared to be alone, and scared to trust someone...

(chorus)

Five Fast Findings

1. Anyone else weirded out about Casey Anthony? I'd like to read transcripts of the trial, but I'm inclined to bet (as a law student-friend suggested) that since she's not really bright and her lawyer is inept, the prosecution dropped the ball. Disgusting, proving "beyond all reasonable doubt" shouldn't be so hard it lets the guilty go free.

2. I'm watching Shrek Forever After and it's kind of hilarious. I wouldn't have paid $9 at the theater ($1 at Redbox, baby), but seeing Puss in Boots as a pampered, fat lapcat makes it almost worth it:

3. So my phone, a Samsung Intercept, has some serious letdowns. Overall, it's a pretty good phone, I just got it, and I'm liking the cell reception that Virgin Mobile provides (via sprint), but if it dies, then there's this flashing Samsung logo across a black screen, then even when I charge it, it doesn't go away unless I hook it up to the computer (it comes with a USB cord) to "kick it out" of that mode. But then today, it wouldn't get on the network and texts I tried to send out wouldn't send, plus I didn't receive any messages in the past 12 hours. It was incredibly weird. All customer service at Virgin said was that it didn't look like it'd ever been properly put on the network because my number was ported from T-Mobile. WTF? I've been using this phone for several weeks now! So when the lady started giving me information on how to get it on the network, she told me to grab a pen and paper, and i was like yeah whatever I can remember it...then she started spouting off a crazy weird number to check the msid (##847446#, whyyyyyyyy virginmobile) and I was like crap, I better write this down. Luckily I had a red sharpie on my nightstand, and my new August 2011 Glamour Mag. Done deal. Pretty sure Virgin was just full of it cause my phone info was accurate but whatever. I guess I just didn't receive any text messages last night or this morning.

4. I need a new swimming suit. My current one provides the WEIRDEST tan lines, since that purple flower at my neck is PART of the swimming suit, leaving a nice large, white spot at the end of the summer, just high enough to be seen with every shirt I own. (photo taken years ago, on a boat. I need a new swimming suit regardless, I've had it for soo long):

5. I went to Seattle this weekend. The flagship REI store was cool, the Mariners game was...interesting (they lost), and the Fremont Troll was covered in tourists. Pretty cool for a place that used to be overrun by loitering teenagers and drug dealers. Go Seattle!

The clothes are really cute, okay?

I have a confession. I am addicted to Sorority Life on Facebook. It's the BEST game ever, especially for a window-shopaholic like me.

Anyway, more on the game later, but every so often, the creators open up "study abroads" for us to go to and complete to get new outfits and accessories. Beijing just closed, and now there's a poll open on the Sorority Life Forum to get input on where we should "go" next. A lot of people are voting for London, but I'm voting for Russia. Fur everything, matryoshka dolls as "pets" and heavy, rich-looking evening gowns? Yes. This sums up everything I want for a Russia study-abroad:

(Britney Spears, Elle Magazine October 2000)

Vote Russia for Sorority Life! and maybe help me find a job!

I never got a tricycle as a kid...

So I got sucked into an Internet ad the other day (yes, sometimes they really work) and discovered the Can-Am Spyder Roadster. Basically a motorcycle, except it has two wheels in the front, presumably for better control (and, ahem, better balance). So curiosity got the better of me and I wanted to find out how much they are. Enter Craigslist...

they make pink ones.

(cue Hallelujah chorus)

(please note: link may be invalid at the time you read this, it is included for reference)

This is a 2008 model (how have they been making them for that long and I've never heard of it??), priced out at just under $15,000, with about 5,000 miles on it, from SS Auto Brokers in Ogden. Is it redundant to say I WANT IT?

Washington State requires a motorcycle license to operate this, though, due to its oddness, that is not necessarily the case for other states. The Can-Am website does provide state-by-state requirements. Smart.

For me, I think the draw is that it's "open-air" and I don't have to worry about a patch of gravel taking me out like it would on a bike. That being said, apparently these things only get a max of 35mpg on the freeway, which sucks compared to your average bike, and regardless of whether it's pink or black, these definitely look like chick bikes. There's also a semi-automatic option on them, so it's easier to shift than a standard motorcycle. Bonus for me, but kinda hurts the street cred. I'm so terrible with shifting and using the clutch that who knows if I'll ever get a bike for real. It's no fun if I kill it every time I come to the freaking stoplight. The new automatic-transmission bikes have me hoping though...

I heart customizing I heart tees...did you follow that?

The great thing about the Internet is how it can produce anything my noggin dreams up. Case-in-point: Customizable "i heart" tees at ILoveTShirts.net.

They come in quite a few styles for both genders (BONUS! women also have a nice thong underwear option!! sense my mildly amused sarcasm!) and child-sized and infant tees are offered as well, to get the whole family in on the craze. You can actually see what the finished product would look like with the site's nifty preview option, and prices for tees range from $14-$22, which, unless you're planning on individually supporting every member of your high school football team, is pretty affordable.

So you could, for instance, purchase some supporting a dear friend (ie. I Heart Josh Smith), and how cool would it look if you and 10 other girls all showed up wearing those shirts just for him?? And then, when he makes you all angry by not properly acknowledging the effort, you hit him with this little beauty:

I also sense a marketing trend!! Who can resist visiting my blog after this:

This site is going on my bookmarks list.

If I have an illness, then it's afflicting most of our female population too

I just found another shoe subscription site: JustFab.com. And their shoes are hot! I liked more of the styles that ShoePrivee offers, but there was enough at Just Fab to make me stop and think about it. As well, when I signed up (just now), they offered 50% off of any item for the next 24 hours, meaning a pair of shoes for $20 instead of $40. Now that's something I'm considering, because I spend much more than that on not-quite-as-hot shoes easily in a day at the mall.

I have a hard time with these shoe-subscription sites (including ShoeDazzle), because I'm not willing to pay $40 of my hard-earned money on a shoe that is described by: "Lightly textured faux patent leather perches atop its faux cork heel." I mean, really? I have several patent leather pumps that I love dearly, and I definitely paid 5 bucks for them in the clearance section at Deb, so I'm not about to spend $40 on the same thing when I could be buying 8 pairs of shoes!

Still, it is fun to look at all the pretty shoe styles. And let's note, I generally wear heels one day a week, Sunday, for approximately 3 hours, where I'm mostly sitting. So those 5-inch heels don't scare me as much as they might another person!

I got an email from ShoePrivee early this morning (3am) advertising one of their new wedges, the Anita shoe, for only $9.95 for the next 24 hours, to new members. Well heck, I'm a new member, AND it included free shipping! I love free shipping! So I BOUGHT IT. I'm not usually a "wedge" type of person, and this shoe isn't usually my style, but $9.95 is cheaper than what i spend on a nice shoe at Target, so I'm excited to try a new style. Isn't it pretty?

And here is the shoe that I'm seriously considering getting at Just Fab. I'm going shoe shopping today, and if this one is still kicking around the noggin in a few hours, I'm getting it. The Langley:

I've decided I need these shoes:

Qupid System-258

Unfortunately, they are out of my size at urbanog.com. I actually discovered this shoe through ShoePrivee.com, which is kind of like ShoeDazzle: you get to pick from shoes in a monthly "showroom" and pay exorbitant amounts of money ($39.95) for cheap shoes that are made from manmade materials (earlier on ShoeDazzle, I saw this shoe description: "Tough gets softer touch in velvety faux suede."). But I digress. Anyway, I need the above-pictured shoe.

I'd love to become a shoe buyer or fashion merchandiser. I absolutely adore finding just-quirky-enough-to-be-cute-but-crazy-enough-to-get-comments-all-day shoes, and I really do find some random ones. Or even better, I'd love to start my own shoe store. But shipping tends to suck for online shoe stores, and in-person stores have a hard time making it without a hundred thou in capital. Qupid shoes actually is a wholesale shoe seller and after perusing their merchandise, I know they would be a favorite supplier of mine. Sigh. in another life.