because I refuse to twitter

I've decided to post a list of my more recent Facebook statuses (stati for plural?) so that everyone can enjoy them. These have been made pretty much in the last few months:


Had the same conversaion with two separate people which confirmed the theory, "eminem is everyone's guilty pleasure."

I don't get Farkle. So you just roll the dice, and take a risk on whether to keep rolling or keep your score? Really? That's it??

I've had FOUR false sneezing alarms today. My nose hurts.

Aww found a baby worm in my vermicompost bin! They're thriving!

Why do "Power Assist" doors take twice as much exertion to open?

my friend rachel wyman drove over a curb and her muffler fell off! Plus her car is an older honda so without the muffler people keep trying to race her. Hahaha.

my parents left for the weekend (on a trip I did not know about) just in time for their dog to throw up EVERYWHERE. Guess who gets to clean it up.

heehee my dog HATES the ringing of the house phone. I'm listening to him howl at it now. It's soo funny.

Nearly killed myself when my foot snagged on a plastic bag in the bathroom and my head came within inches of the toilet. Im so clumsy, HOW AM I STILL ALIVE??

Saw fresh drops of blood on a downtown spokane sidewalk. Welcome home lindsey, welcome home.

Serves me right i guess, sprayed on perfume and immediately inhaled like half of it. Gross.

ahhhh. the satisfying accomplishment of a sneeze well done.

eew just found a dead, pressed bug inside my book.

I keep sneezing then having the sneeze turn into a cough, so it's like a double assault on my throat. Come on cold, go away!

I need to get my mom to stop shopping at Grocery Outlet. All we have is American Finest sliced cheese and Shopper's Value tortilla chips. Neither of those brands actually taste like Kraft or Tostitos.

"zapped the fabulous right out of him" -House on his gay-turned-straight patient

Luckily I know the House theme song well enough that I can play it in my head while I race to grab my pizza from the oven and not miss a single beat of the show.

forgot the bathroom at work has an automatic flush and it scared the bejeez out of me. sigh. I really have bad nerves. (and follow-up later that evening: yay! I remembered the automatic toilet flusher so it didn't scare me!! Sigh. Sometimes I wonder how I make it through life...)

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had enough? believe me, there's plenty more where that came from. Feel free to stalk my facebook, if you're my friend already. One lesson learned on this path to self-discovery (or self-facebookovery) is that a large number of my statuses involve sneezing. hahaha.