They're always good for a laugh

I get frustrated with the pup sometimes because she's not fully housebroken yet, but every once in a while she cracks me up. When I brought her inside from the yard I saw this:

That black thing around her neck is a HEADBAND (like, for a human head). I threw it away so I guess she went dumpster diving and wanted to look pretty! I left it on her for a little while and it became her very own wearable chew toy.

We also got a laser keychain at walmart for $2.47 the other day. Worth every penny. It drives both the pup and tucker the cat MAD. I'll post videos as soon as I learn how to edit/compress them (currently they're something like 150 mb. that's what you get for using a basic digital camera)

I hate having such a crafty mind!

GAH!! I want a letter press! I've been doing research for my wedding invitations and have fallen in love with the idea of letter press printing, like how they printed newspapers for hundreds of years. It actually presses an ink-coated design into the paper, so it gives a wonderful texture. I'm in love! Problem is though, old-fashioned letter presses are really expensive. They used to be had for pennies on the dollar, but in the past year or two they seem to have surged in price. Sigh. If anyone knows of someone with an old printing press in their barn or something, let me know!!

Feed me

Okay so I'm pretty computer savvy. But I cannot FOR THE LIFE OF ME figure out what feeds are!! Like when someone has the little feed symbol or xml thing on their blog and you click on it, and it sends you to this massive page full of text and code and that's it, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT???

When I want to follow a blog (a recent development since blogs did not used to really be my thing), I just hit the Follow button on the top if it's a blogspot blog, an if it's anything else I usually just save it as a bookmark and forget about it until I'm cleaning out my bookmarks a year later. I use Google Reader to save blogs I like too, but that's another thing I usually misplace. Right now, I could not tell you how to get to my Google Reader.

So anyway, what are feeds?? How does one follow a blog that's not a blogspot blog??? I'm that dense. I even read the wikipedia article on feeds and I still don't get it.

everyday challenges

"What's up with Calvin being a BLACK name?"

My fiance is named Calvin. He's Native American but has passed for many different nationalities, so he's kind of sensitive about that. Anyway, while we were in the middle of a 3am viewing of Family Matters (yes that show is STILL playing reruns on Nick at Night) when he made the above comment. Turns out the last 3-4 shows we've watched all had black men named Calvin.

(By the way, the episode of Family Matters we were watching first aired in 1989. I was BORN only two years before that!! I might as well be recording it on my Betamax player and reading Beverly Cleary books in my oversized off-the-shoulder sweater. Oh wait, those are back in style now.)

As soon as Calvin said that, my first thought was, heehee I need to blog that! A few moments later, when I was in the middle of typing the first sentence on this blog I hear, "You should post that on your blog thingy." Guilty as charged. I am a blog whore!

the toilet seat

Let me first start by saying, I'm pretty lucky. Calvin has never ever sprayed on the toilet seat as long as we have shared a toilet. He flushes every time without fail AND washes his hands. HOWEVER. He also never puts the toilet seat cover down. I feel ridiculous even writing this because most women would die of happiness if their husband not only didn't piddle on the seat, but remembered to put the SEAT down. Flushing is usually a lesson entirely its own. No no, despite the fact that I have a wonderful fiance who does all of this, I'm still complaining; about the toilet seat COVER.

See, every time you flush the toilet, thousands of tiny little droplets OF YOUR PEE get flung into the air, swirling around the bathroom and all over YOU. Did I gross you out a little? Good. I hope so. Put that toilet seat cover DOWN before you use it! It's for that reason I loathe using public restrooms. Sitting on a toilet shared with hundreds of strangers doesn't gross me out at all, it's the lack of toilet seat covers that freaks me out.

Oh! Oh! And I have another, valid reason to put that toilet seat cover down. Maybe this redeems me from being housewife-zilla. We have a cat. And as most cats are, Tucker just LOVES playing with the toilet water. He has fallen into, yes INTO the toilet countless times, after which he bounds out of the bowl and saturates the toilet seat with toilet water and dirty little pawprints. Thus, when I'm having an EMERGENCY and must get to a toilet THAT INSTANT, I have to grab a wad of toilet paper and hastily but thoroughly wipe off the toilet seat before I can sit down. One more thing. Sometimes I don't turn on the light before I go because it's AN EMERGENCY FOLKS. and I plop down on the toilet seat. Words cannot express the fear that strikes my heart when I realize the toilet seat is covered in some sort of liquid. eeeew. All of this can be avoided if Fiance JUST PUTS THE TOILET SEAT COVER DOWN! Right? Who's with me?

red light district

I'm becoming a blogspot whore. If you'll notice by the fact that I now operate TWO blogs and have made multiple posts to each one in the past 12 hours. I've also been sucked into several blogs online (mainly related to wedding stuff) that luckily were Blogspot blogs, making it easier for me to follow them! Sigh. I've got to get a life. See, the problem is, it's either my blog and the Internet, or cleaning up what might appear to be a spot of liquid milk chocolate on the kitchen floor right now. It is no such thing. (has my puppy popped into your mind?). Think about that for a minute and THAT'S why I spend so much time here! I'm not so cruel as to post a picture of that liquid on the floor. You'd better be grateful I'm feeling so nice!

Puppies vs babies

We recently acquired a now 14-week-old puppy named Shelby. She's a Lab/Australian Shepard mix and very energetic. She's a lot of fun and thankfully does not bark much, but as a large-breed puppy, she loves to chew things. Her favorite seems to be computer cords and fabric like towels or expensive wool blankets. Luckily the blankets are stronger than her puppy teeth, but the cords? Not so much. She destroyed one side of Calvin's new earphones the other day. Just chewed straight through it.

That actually reminds me of my grandma's dog. Last July, she got a mini dachshund (named Mini, 0 points for originality there) that was just amazingly yappy and loved to chew on things. During this time, my grandpa was in the last stage of cancer, so he took a lot of naps. Often, he forgot to take his hearing aids out while he was sleeping. One day, Mini ran into the bedroom and PLUCKED A HEARING AID OUT OF HIS EAR FOR HER TO CHEW ON. My grandma found that $1000 chew toy later behind a chair and elected not to mention it to my grandpa, since he and Mini were already on the outs. It somehow became the dirty family secret until one day a few weeks later, when my grandpa mentioned that last hearing aid "that Mini got to." No lie, everyone in the room FROZE, wondering how did he know?? We had all been sneaking around for weeks trying to keep him from noticing he was getting sized for a new hearing aid or paying for another one, etc and he knew all along! Lesson learned: Grandpa always knew when a household pet did something naughty, even if Grandma didn't want him to know.

ANYWAY...

I have a computer fan under my computer at all times because it overheats (stupid HP Pavilion). Lately, my computer has been really running hotter than it ought to be. Yesterday, I noticed this:

That cord hanging free on the right side SHOULDN'T BE HANGING FREE! It took me at least 3 days to realize this, so it shouldn't come as a surprise that even when I was looking at this cord ball and playing with it, it took a full TEN MINUTES for my brain to process that yes, something was rotten in the state of Denmark. Shelby had chewed straight through the cord on the right side and through the rubber coating on the left side. Not good! Ever since then, I have been vigilant in making sure she stays the heck away from mine or Calvin's computer cords, because I can do without a computer fan, but computer cords are expensive.

Again: ANYWAY...

I keep getting sidetracked in this post. What I'm getting at is that I've been comparing puppies to babies a lot this week. Several of my friends have babies, so of course I'm privy to the ups and downs of being a parent. I'm starting to think though, being a parent vs being a puppy owner isn't much different! Actually, I'm beginning to wonder if a baby isn't easier. At least they don't chew through the computer fan cord or pee all over the kitchen floor I scrubbed for THIRTY MINUTES STRAIGHT. And babies don't steal pizza right off the plate on your lap. Frankly, babies don't go anywhere you don't want them to go. And you don't have to walk outside with them in the freezing air watching to make sure they REALLY poop before letting them inside. Babies also don't forget how strong their jaws are while they're locked around a squawking kitten's NECK.

On the flipside: Puppies don't have massive, soaking bags of diarrhea and yellow poop slung around their waists. Oh wait, puppies just leave the mess in front of the door, blocking you from leaving until you clean it up. And puppies don't...hmm...I honestly can't think of anything else that makes puppies better than babies.

Sigh. babies are clearly winning right now. NOT THAT I'M PLANNING ON GETTING PREGNANT ANYTIME SOON. But oh wise mothers, would you like to leave me reasons why puppies are better than babies? I could use the reminder!

I'm dying

I have this favorite blogger whose blogs I rediscover every few months and subsequently spend the next 2-3 days trying not to pee my pants from laughing too hard. Her style of writing is just amazing, not to mention, she has a gift for making everything in her life seem like a comedy central event. It's definitely awesome and if I ever turn out to be half the blogger she is, I'll be lucky!Here's the link (but you've been warned, go to the bathroom NOW and if you eat while reading, you WILL choke or spray your computer):

Not That You Asked...

Some people might consider this TMI but we've all been there!

Show of hands: Who here has a dog or cat? Keep your hands up if any of them have ever, uh, had GAS.

Someone in my family has been passing silent farts for the past few days. We've been slowly eliminating the possibilities. It's not me or Calvin. Today we learned it's not the cat, since he was outside when we got blasted with the latest silent killer (he used to have bad episodes until we weaned him off of wet food though). It's down to either Hiro or Shelby. I'm thinking now it's not Shelby because I've been the first one to smell it today and Hiro's closest to me. Calvin's convinced it's Hiro too. The thing that kills me though is that Hiro doesn't even wake up for it! He's like that gross old uncle from How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days who just sits in his chair napping and tooting all day. THAT'S HIRO!

Oh man. When he lets one loose it makes me want to DIE. It's like falling into the sewer or sleeping next to the litter box. Sorry if that's TMI but hey, welcome to my life, apparently.

don't tell anybody

This seems to be the week of confessions. I have a few more to make:

All of the clocks in my house are wrong because I was too lazy to go look up the actual time before putting them on the wall.

(I know that the one in the bedroom is off by an hour and the kitchen ones are off by about half an hour, give or take, so I figure having a general idea is just fine until daylight savings hits. I mean, I've moved like 4 times this year. I'm boycotting setting the clocks one more time until I HAVE to.)

I hide from the animals.

I don't fold fitted sheets; I roll them up in a ball and chuck them in the closet.

I also don't match my socks as often as I should. I usually just take the whole lot of them and throw them in my drawer. Fiance's million socks are all the same brand and style, so he doesn't even have to match them, the lucky buster.

I love eating Lunchables and watching Disney Channel.

I read the Spokesman Review online multiple times a day.

I don't make New Years resolutions because I know I won't stick with them.

I play Bejeweled on Facebook and Mafia Wars on Myspace. And that's pretty much how I spend my day.

my vice

Okay. I have a confession. I love Keeping up with the Kardashians.

I never watched it before this year, and actually I started by watching the new spin-off, Khloe and Kourtney Take Miami. The girls are so annoying and catty but at the same time, it would be way fun to go clubbing with them or something. Their family is soo dysfunctional too, but what's kinda nice is how everyone still loves each other despite the craziness.

It's just a funny show! I've never been much of a tv watcher, but Calvin is and so we have the tv on all day. We pretty much stick to the Disney channel (Hannah Montana and Wizards of Waverly place) or Family guy, but if Kardashians is on or Brooke Knows Best, I'll watch those too. When VH1 did Real Chance of Love 2 and Tool Academy 2, I'll admit, I followed them. Calvin likes to keep a running commentary of insults and rude remarks (after all, it is a cheesy reality show), but once I tune those out, I'm quite entertained.

Anything other than those few reality shows though and I'm turned off. Sure, Biggest Loser is inspiring, but as soon as Real World or that new one, Jersey Shore comes on, I'm out of there. I may have gotten sucked into the reality tv world, but I'm not that far gone! hahaha.

Good riddance to 2009

It seems to be a common sentiment among friends on my facebook feed, but I'm glad 2009 is over. It wasn't a good year for me. It started off with my purse getting stolen from the place we were celebrating the new 2009 at and ended with me sitting with my fiance in our house, unable to go anywhere because it was snowing (and we can't afford snow tires) and we didn't have money to buy dinner anyway! So regardless, I'm glad to start off fresh this year. Of course, good things happened in 2009, I started dating Calvin and got engaged, we've had some good times, got Tucker the cat, and other small things, but overall, this year reminds me of being broke, having my family against me, having to move back to Spokane and traveling ALL over rural washington/idaho/oregon. Here's to a better 2010!

Welcome to the doghouse

Believe it or not, this actually won't be an animal-oriented blog. I mean, I do have animals, but it's not an animal-centric blog.

The name, squinty-eyed dog describes my own dog, named Hiro. He has this way of squinting his eyes when he's tired or weirded out by the goings on in the house. It cracks me up. I got him a little over a year ago from a small dog rescue in the Seattle/Bellevue area and he is my favorite animal in the world. Sure, he's kinda creepy and doesn't like anyone else, but I love him very much. He's 11 years old now and doesn't do a lot besides sleep, but he's very attached to me and never feels quite comfortable unless he can see where I am. He was abused in his other life (or lives) and is scared of a lot, including most other humans, dogs and cats (and the puppy and kitty we have skittering around), so most people don't like him, but I do.

Anyway, this is going to be a random blog. I have a lot going on and yet nothing at all, so we'll see what I come up with!

this is me and Hiro back when I first got him:

This is a cell phone picture of Tucker the cat. He was actually sleeping, out cold, for this picture.